One Smoot Short of a Bridge

Stay classy, Southie

2012-01-26T11:16:00.000-05:00

Chicken Man seems to have run out of chickens

2012-01-07T21:46:00.001-05:00

I watched a First Night ice sculpture get assembleded. Squee.

2011-12-31T19:30:00.002-05:00

Because I'm a dork -- do I even need to preface my blog posts with that, as if anyone didn't know? -- I really enjoyed seeing an ice sculpture get taken off the truck and assembled in front of Golden Temple.

At about 1:30, Molly and I went out to walk a dog we were dogsitting. We saw the Brookline Ice and Coal truck unloading the beginning of the ice sculpture. Even the dog thought it was interesting.

There's a chainsaw there (above photo), the orange thing on the ground next to the planter to the left of the dog. I'm not sure why either, but hey, chainsaw!

But after a few minutes of Molly and me watching amazedly at what frozen wonders would come out of the truck, our doggie friend was kind of like, wait, what? Because he is a dog. So we walked to Coolidge Corner and ran into someone awesome who I hadn't seen in a while. Then we took the dog to Paper Source because ~~he needed some craft supplies~~ they allow dogs and we were looking for something to do. We bought a giant M made out of paper pulp. Then we wandered around.

Also we saw this, which is funny if you're me. Or the person who did it, apparently:

When we came back at about 3:00, the ice sculpture was pretty much done and they were putting the lights up.

(Apologies to this Brookline Ice and Coal employee for the unflattering picture of his ass along with the photo of his most excellent ice artistry.)

Well we're on the subject of Golden Temple, I suggest going there some night other than tonight. We went there on Christmas to ~~fulfill stereotypes about our people~~ eat delicious food with some ~~Jews~~ friends and were most disappointed to find out that their "special" holiday menu means that they don't have any vegetable tempura or mushroom egg foo yung, except they still use the regular printed menus and you're expecting these fine dishes but you go to order them and they tell you about their "special" holiday menu. Also the drinks are weaker on holidays. But go there when it isn't a holiday, because the place is awesome. Szechuan eggplant, yo.

I like how it looks from the front. Our doggie friend thinks it looks better from the other side though with the lights shining through the ice, and I don't think he cares that the lettering is backwards that way.

Boston radio stations playing Alice's Resturant today

2011-11-24T11:18:00.001-05:00

WUMB apparently played it at 9:00 already, will be playing it again at noon. Sometimes they play the 30th anniversary edition. ("And I asked myself, I said, Arlo, how many things in the world are 18 minutes and 20 seconds long?")

WZLX is once again doing it at 9, noon, and 4.

WXRV 92.5 The River often plays it at noon, but doesn't mention it this year on their site or on their facebook.

Let me know if there are any others!

Bof fri fleu, now in Thai!

2011-11-19T23:57:00.001-05:00

Boston Tour of Bigass Heads

2011-10-30T15:19:00.000-04:00

So, I got the brilliant (?) idea to do a tour of all of the giant heads of Boston. Not sure if I'd want to do, say, a bike tour, or more like a party bus tour (bike tour is better for the planet and urban living and such, but party bus would be accessible to people who can't ride a bike).

The heads I've come up with so far are:

Joseph Wheelwright's "Sleeping Moon" sculpture at Ashmont Station

Antonio Lopez Garcia's "Day and Night" sculptures outside the Mofa

John Wilson's "Eternal Presence" at the National Center of Afro-American Artists

Ralph Helmick's Arthur Fiedler Memorial on the Charles River Esplanade

Can anyone think of any more giant heads in Boston?

All images ganked from the respective linked websites. Please notify me if you would like your photo taken down.

Dear Capital One

2011-10-24T08:27:00.000-04:00

You know those e-mails you keep sending me?

The ones that promise $100 for opening a Capital One savings account?

The ones that address me by first and last name and refer to me as a valued customer, which indicates that they're being sent to cardholders rather than just to generic mailing lists?

The ones that say in the tiny print at the bottom that the average balance during the first year must be more than $10,000?

Well jeez, you people have full access to my credit report and other financial information. Shouldn't you be able to tell that there's no way in fuck that I have $10,000 lying around, nor am likely to any time soon?

(And you realize, don't you, that a $100 return on $10,000 over 12 months is, well, 1% APR. Which you damn well better be paying people if you're using their large sums of cash to fund ~~sketchy e-mail campaigns about car loan ripoffs~~ your financial institution. What kind of person who has $10,000 puts it in some gimmicky Capital One account anyway?)

Oxbury?!

2011-10-02T20:53:00.000-04:00

Mixed feelings as usual on these "supercrip" stories

2011-10-02T15:09:00.001-04:00

This video is making the rounds right now, portraying Mariah Slick, a high-school senior with Down syndrome who was crowned the homecoming queen at her high school in Texas.

I have some very mixed feelings about this story. Not about the event itself or about Mariah -- hey, you go girl! -- but about the media portrayal.

First, the reporting itself seems somewhat patronizing. There's no interview of Mariah, just footage of the event and an interview of a typical peer who says that she's a great person, because they have a class together and "she calls me by my first name" (what?). There's nothing about Mariah's talents or interests. It doesn't actually commend her on anything she herself has chosen to do in life, giving the impression that she's only a neat person because she has a disability. I'd love to hear more about her -- what she thinks of her high school and her social life, what interests her.

Second, this always brings up for me the overall media trend of the supercrip phenomenon. This particular young woman is being noted in the media mainly because she "overcame" the discrimination that people with disabilities face, and she managed to be successful within the model of how nondisabled people are supposed to be. I've gathered from the quick snippet that she has enough cognitive and academic ability to attend high school without being substantially separated from nondisabled peers, she manages to be conventionally stylish and attractive, managed to have good social skills, managed to "fit in" in her high school.

While all this is pretty cool, and I'm guessing took a lot of work on her part, where is the media coverage of the people with disabilities who face tons of discrimination and don't manage to be "just a normal kid?" I'd like to see media coverage about people with disabilities that isn't "heartwarming. The only time we do see such a thing is when someone is trying to illustrate how much a particular aspect of the social services system is failing someone, and that isn't what I mean either.

I'd love to see a slice-of-life piece that balances out this story about Mariah Slick. Say, a story about someone with Down syndrome who experiences life as happy and stable, but hasn't been successful in making friends, didn't have access to an education that really met his/her needs, has mannerisms that most of society doesn't find attractive, and has made an informed choice to stay in the house most of the time fixated on one activity. This hypothetical person should be just as valuable in our society as Mariah Slick, yet I had to make up such a person because we aren't seeing any portrayed in the media. These people are invisible.

שנה טובה

2011-09-28T07:43:00.002-04:00

It's right in front of your face

2011-09-26T11:44:00.001-04:00

How do people manage to spell my name wrong in a reply to an email signed with my name? Like, when they've never communicated with me before and only know my name from reading it on my email?

Can we discuss how only one of the things on my lap right now is designated for that purpose?

2011-09-17T11:00:00.000-04:00

What google maps thinks is a logical route

2011-09-11T21:08:00.001-04:00

What an attractive sight I woke up to this morning

2011-09-07T11:17:00.000-04:00

Subtle homophobia in Facebook profiles?

2011-09-04T12:09:00.000-04:00

I've noticed a lot of people on Facebook who list in their profile that they're married or otherwise in a long-term relationship with a person of the opposite gender, then they further specify that they're interested in people of the opposite gender in the "interested in:" field. This does not include many of my friends, thankfully, but rather, asshats from high school and from former jobs that were much like high school, as well as people who've aroused my curiosity through posting ignorant things on community pages.

What is up with the need to specify? The only reason I can think of is that they -- consciously or unconsciously -- want to make sure everyone knows they aren't remotely bisexual. Because otherwise, what? Clearly, we know you're currently interested in women if you're married to one. Or at least I hope for both of your sake that you're interested in her. Not surprisingly, it's mostly straight guys who feel the need to specify this, which also follows with the internalized homophobia thing, since there's more stigma aimed at guys with regards to being gay or bi or bi-curious.

(Yes, I realize some of them may have left it there from while they were single and looking, but that doesn't account for the ones who were already taken when they joined, yet still felt the need to specify.)

"You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either."

2011-09-02T08:54:00.000-04:00

From mycheckfree.com:

If you want to stop paying e-bills for a single biller, go to the E-bills page, and then click Delete for that biller account.

Oh, I'd like to stop paying bills for all of my accounts. Is it that easy?

Boston just exploded

2011-08-31T02:04:00.000-04:00

About half an hour ago we heard an explosion so The Spousal Unit turned on the po-po scanner. Now we're listening to them talking about people calling and saying there was an explosion. Seems to have been somewhere near South Station or the Broadway Bridge. They tried to contact Amtrak and the MBTA "but the only people there are the people cleaning the trains and the buses and those people don't know anything."

Also a cop needs some tape, another one has some that the first cop can use, there is a belligerent individual at BMC, a cop is going to get some coffee, someone is missing, and a bunch of numbers.

Get outta my head

2011-08-07T10:08:00.000-04:00

There needs to be a longassgermanword for when you have a little snippet of music show up in your head, but no melody line or drumbeat or anything that you can sing to someone to figure out what the hell it's from, because what you're hearing is mostly textures or effects or something that you can't replicate.

Timbuk2 pride messenger bag

2011-07-17T19:38:00.001-04:00

How cool is this?

OK, it's kind of ugly for an everyday bag, unless your wardrobe goes well with giant pride flags, but how awesome would it be for carrying presentation materials or for leafletting or something?

Demand Mass employers pay LGBT employees as much as straights

2011-07-03T15:06:00.002-04:00

The City of Cambridge has decided to increase the gross pay of employees with same-sex spouses so that their take-home pay is equal to that of employees with opposite-sex spouses once the federal gay taxes have taken effect.

This is a great example they've set. Until we have federal laws requiring equal marriage everywhere, Massachusetts should require that as part of its nondiscrimination laws and its commitment to equal marriage, all employers need to offset the discriminatory federal insurance taxes so that their employees are paid equally for equal work.

Write your state senator and representative and get someone to sponsor this. Oh, and if any human rights organizations that have more power than my lame little blog want to take this on, please do.

The Human Rights Campaign has an article explaining to businesses how and why they should provide equal pay for LGBT employees.

Same-sex marriage health insurance clusterfuckery

2011-07-03T11:58:00.001-04:00

So, my primary employer, who forbids us to mention their name on the internet, just decided they're now going to start following the federal law to the letter and are going to start disallowing people with same-sex spouses from paying for the spouse's portion of the health insurance with pre-tax dollars and are going to tax the spouse (who is federally considered to be a legal stranger, thus not a dependent) on the health insurance benefits, since they're legally a gift since said spouse isn't legally a family member.

Previously, they'd done what most employers do, and entered the whole insurance premium as pre-tax just like they do for opposite-sex spouses, and left it up to each family to decide how they wanted to interpret the federal tax law, choosing to pay the extra gay tax if they wanted.

(I of course decided not to volunteer to pay the gay tax, deciding that if they wanted to come after me for it, I'd sue the federal government for sex discrimination and deprivation of life and liberty and all that, and I'd of course win, and then we'd have a federal decision stating that treating straight people and non-straight people differently is unconstitutional. Likewise, I'm sure the agency was in the clear, because they could also sue the IRS if the IRS asked them to please stop treating gay and straight employees the same. The IRS of course hasn't come after any individuals or businesses, because the federal government knows they'd lose a lawsuit, so they're not going to open themselves up to one.)

Fast forward to a few weeks ago: HR dude calls me and tells me they're now following the federal law to the letter and they're going to tax us for the insurance now. Not only that, but since the agency refuses to offer a two-person insurance plan like normal places do, our family with two adults who need workplace-purchased insurance has to buy a family plan for three times as much as a single plan, so they're considering the additional two-thirds to be the portion they're gifting to Molly. (You hear that, HR people at my agency and at others? Not having a two-person plan is homophobic. It hurts people who have to pay gay tax more than it hurts people who are federally married.)

I found some interesting articles about "grossing up," that is, employers choosing to increase the gross pay of people with same-sex spouses so that our take-home pay is equal to that of people with opposite-sex spouses. I knew that many large for-profit companies like Apple and Google do this, but I know this isn't going to make much of a case for my employer, since they're not our competitors. However, the City of Cambridge is a similar type of employer, and they're doing it. I also discovered that the HRC has a proposal outlining how an employer would do this and makes the point that not doing so could open the employer up to a discrimination case.

So today I was running some numbers, trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with our take-home pay being about $50 lower per week while still eating and paying bills. One thought I had was that since my employer is basically not offering my spouse insurance, maybe she could get MassHealth, and I could switch to the single plan at work. She's below the income cutoff. Nope, because we're married in Massachusetts, she can't get it, because I'm offered insurance through work. It doesn't matter that the insurance is ridiculously expensive because of the required family plan and the tax penalties.

So, here's what needs to happen for this situation to not be ridiculous:

1. The federal government needs to completely and entirely decide that marriage discrimination is unconstitutional, and require that all state governments and federal governments have equal marriage. Tell President Obama to support full equal marriage.

2. While that's in the works, we need to do something at the state level to require that all employers "gross up" to ensure that workers with same-sex and opposite-sex spouses are paid the same wages for equal work. I've created a separate page for this issue that people can redistribute to encourage people to write their legislators.

3. Until then, tell your employer to "gross up." Show them the article about the City of Cambridge and the HRC's proposal and explanation of how this works.

3a. Another thought I had was to have employers put the spouse on payroll and let the spouse purchase his or her own single-person plan. I know this is totally legit to do two singles if both spouses actually do work there, but not sure if it's legit to have someone who is making no wages but is paying for group insurance. Maybe someone else knows?

4. Also, tell the governor that it was a horrible idea to make MassHealth recognize same-sex marriage. That means fewer same-sex couples can get coverage, not more, since MassHealth is based on family income for married families. It's federal laws that are creating poorer access to healthcare for same-sex partners, and MassHealth is largely federally funded, so the feds should be picking up the bill for the people (like my spouse) who can't afford the discriminatory insurance offered by their spouse's employer and who don't have insurance offered through their own job. This isn't a case of people wanting marriage recognized only when convenient; since the feds actually don't recognize it at all, they don't get to recognize it only in order to get away with not providing MassHealth to some people. Also, the state, in the interest of equality, should provide more insurance options to people who can't afford to partake of the employer-sponsored insurance once the gay tax is added on.

Delores Handy just made my life

2011-07-01T20:00:00.000-04:00

They had her reporting on the current actions of the Boston Ten-Point Coalition. Couldn't think of a better person to discuss the organization. Puonts abounded.

WBUR misrepresents adoption as expensive

2011-06-20T21:18:00.000-04:00

This story about a family who is helping another family through surrogacy is really beautiful.

It was disturbing though, as I listened to this on the way to work this morning, to first hear "they decided adoption was too expensive," then hear "about $30,000 worth of medical co-pays, legal fees, even maternity clothes and prenatal vitamins."

The author really should have done some fact-checking and found that domestic adoption is generally quite a bit less than $30,000 for an infant, even a white one, and adoption through the Massachusetts Department of Children and Families is free. It's fine that the family decided adoption isn't for them, but the story should have stated this, rather than the author perpetuating the myth that adoption is expensive, when it in fact can be free.

Self-control in childhood predicts future success

2011-06-18T18:57:00.001-04:00

I was very happy to see this article in a mainstream publication. I definitely see in my adult clients -- both the ones with and without labels -- that the people who are the most healthy and successful are the ones who can, to put it simply, sit down and shut up and do the right thing without arguing or making excuses. While personality/morals/trust plays into this a bit, I believe that the most central force in terms of whether someone is able to do this is whether they learned in early childhood to wait, to tolerate discomfort, and to do things much of the time that are someone else's agenda.

Just as I expected, there are comments on the article saying that teaching children to self-regulate and follow rules is stifling their creativity or hurting their self-esteem. I hear this a lot from parents, particularly Generation X or Y parents who are trying to do get away from the themes of our childhoods ("because I said so," "wait until your father hears about this," etc.). While I agree that our childhoods in the '70s and '80s could have been a little less authoritarian and a little more nurturing of our creativity, I do still see a real need for children to learn to conform and follow rules.

Self-esteem and self-control are actually more related than they are opposites; children who understand rules and can do what is expected feel more competent and are happier and more creative. Creativity is also only useful when it is exhibited in the context of knowing the rules and choosing to only slightly break them. I often see parents who look at their toddler as a "free spirit" when the child, say, wanders off to do something else without acknowledging that the parent is speaking. This behavior in my eyes of course looks like the child is either on the way to a neurodevelopmental disorder that needs immediate attention or else hasn't been taught some very necessary life skills.

I, too, want to raise the sort children who grow up to start their own business, but not ones who send the IRS a poem about their quarterly revenue because the correct form didn't interest them.

Container-Baby Syndrome

2011-06-15T13:52:00.000-04:00

Here's a great article on why it's best to put babies on the floor as a default when setting them down and to only use baby containers during times when it's not possible to completely supervise the baby.

The article is written by a physical therapist, so it mostly focuses on motor and sensory concerns, but I'll also add that moving one's body freely and being able to explore things is necessary for development of language, cognitive, self-regulation, and social skills. Early developmental skills like head control, trunk control, and a sense of where one's body is in space can help with things later in life, like paying attention, following through with tasks, and understanding limits. These things also help with overall maturity; a child has to be aware of him- or herself before the child can be aware of others.

Oh, and this wasn't mentioned, but babies from newborn onward need access to toys they can manipulate with their hands. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. These can even be provided to stimulate development when the baby is in a container!

Why I still go to Pride, and why it still matters

2011-06-11T23:30:00.002-04:00

Happy Pride, everyone!

This is something I heard hundreds of times today, from friends and family and from strangers.

Yet I've had exactly four non-GLBT people ask me this week if I was going to pride or otherwise mention that his week is pride week.

On my Facebook feed and in the blogs I read, I'm mostly seeing comments about how people don't like pride anymore, because it's become corporate and is dominated by "PFLAGs and churches" and lacks the grassroots community groups that were once central to the event.

These observations aren't inaccurate. The fees to march in the parade this year (without a vehicle, which costs more) were $140 for non-profits, $40 for student groups, and $220 for other groups (if the group registered before February 28; registration went up every few months and was $875/$250/$1375 after June 1). The fees are the same regardless of whether your non-profit or for-profit runs out of your basement and might not have the resources of Children's Hospital or Home Depot. Certainly, the fees alone shut out a lot of small, local groups.

Still, I argue that pride is needed even more now that we're in a place that we more-or-less have legal rights (we still are hugely lacking, and our trans brothers and sisters even more so). People seem to have forgotten about their GLBT friends and family and coworkers and neighbors, if they notice us at all. In most of my circles, I'm surrounded by mostly straight folks. Which is fine, most of the time, but it points out to me every day that we're still largely invisible and why this "I treat queer people just like anyone else and hardly even remember that you're queer" stuff doesn't work.

As I said, exactly four non-queer people realized that it's pride week and asked if I was going or wished me happy pride. I have far more homophobic experiences in any given week. Or day, actually. And I get far more people asking about my plans for holidays that I don't celebrate or asking if I'm going to notoriously homophobic/transphobic events.

This is why pride still matters. If a bunch of giant corporations that have no major financial reason to give a rat's ass about queers in Boston realize that it's pride week and have taken the time and effort to have a presence at the parade, then surely people who have daily or weekly personal interactions with queer folks can bother to remember that we're queer and make sure they include us and are sensitive to us in their language and their worldviews.

Look, more effort from freakin' Home Depot than from most of the people I actually know

Beyond that, it's just nice to have a day in which I actually feel community and I'm not the "other." Where my family and I go up to a booth and look at necklaces and a stranger tells me that one's really cute and I should totally buy it for my wife, when most of the time I get asked by not-exactly-strangers if she's my sister or my mom, or asked by a well-meaning coworker how anyone would possibly know I'm gay, not realizing that queers and allies actually listen and look for what someone is putting out there rather than assuming everyone is straight unless they outright say otherwise. (The mom thing seriously happened two separate times. We're both in our 30s.) It's awesome to browse tables of advertisers and chat with community groups without having to have my antennae out to figure out whether the bed and breakfast or wellness center is queer-friendly, or smile and nod politely while I make a mental note to go look on their website later to see if I can figure out if I'd be welcome there.

Happy Pride, everyone.

Space savers in 90-degree weather!

2011-06-08T11:28:00.000-04:00

Delores Handy word of the day

2011-05-23T14:52:00.001-04:00

"in the forkass, temps will be..."

Banks, you make no sense

2011-05-08T11:37:00.000-04:00

(To give some background, my credit is like many Americans' -- I have never paid a bill late in my life and all my accounts show as "paying as agreed," but I have a lot of debt.)

A few weeks ago, I tried to refinance my car, which is currently worth about 150% of what I owe on it. I tried for any combination of lowering the rate, extending the term, or taking out the full market value and getting cash back. I wanted to do this because we have a healthcare loan that's going to charge us horrendous retroactive interest if we don't pay it off by next month.

I got a bunch of letters saying the banks wouldn't refinance my car because of too much debt. As in, they were not willing to even let me use equity I already have in it and close out the old loan and have me make my exact same monthly payment that I'm obviously capable of making (or a smaller one) to them instead. They decided I was at too high a risk of not paying them, despite having never not paid a bill in my life.

On a whim, I decided to try opening up a credit card with a 0.0% interest rate for a year, thinking I could pay off my medical debt this way. This seems to be a much riskier move on the banks' parts, because the amount I could put on the card isn't backed up by anything and can't be towed away, plus it would be expanding my entire available credit since it wouldn't close out the old loan like a car refinance would.

The card and all its fine print showed up today. Not only did they approve me, but the limit is high enough that I could damn near put the car on the card, were that not a stupid financial move and questionably legal. I guess it makes sense that banks are counting on people to take forever to pay the card, thus eventually paying them a lot of interest, but still, it's odd. The same bank was not willing to close out my car loan and accept the same payment I'd been making for three years, but they were willing to give me almost as much money on a credit card with no interest and a 3% balance transfer fee. They're actually going to make less money off of me this way.

Spontaneous Celebrations isn't

2011-05-07T10:43:00.001-04:00

Dear Spontaneous Celebrations:

While I have enjoyed each of the events I have attended at your facility and in the community, I have to disagree with you and state that while these happenings were plenty celebratory, they were not, in fact, spontaneous.

The Wake Up The Earth Festival, for instance, has been joyful to attend, but I must remind you that it was not in any way "performed or occurring without premeditation or external stimulus" or "preceding from natural feeling or native tendency without external constraint." While a lot of people who I encountered there might have benefited from a little less meditation, or maybe from paying a little more attention to their external stimuli, I still contend that this event on the whole just doesn't fit with these spontaneously googled definitions.

I have organized events in this city, and I know how much external constraint is required to get all those permits, and I know that the EMS and the police detail don't just show up out of people's native tendency (though too much showing of natural feeling could result in a patrol officer showing up). And all that advertising that I've been seeing for weeks now; it all has the same date and location on it. Clearly, this was planned.

You know what is spontaneous? Your staff updating your website. It's currently telling me the tentative date for the 2008 festival.

Confusedly,
eeka

And for people planning to attend today's festival, be sure to take along some Festival Bingo Cards:

Download the .pdf of four different cards here. They should work at any Boston-area festival. Anything I left off? Let me know!

Baby album that's same-sex/single-parent friendly, adoption friendly, AND really funny and cool

2011-05-01T11:19:00.000-04:00

One of my many projects that I never seem to get around to is to compile a list of baby/child albums that don't assume hetero parents, female parent giving birth, child joining the family at birth, family celebrating Christian holidays, etc.

I've run across a few that are pretty plain and don't assume these things, but they were so boring and minimalist that they weren't much different from just using a photo album or blank book. I'm still on the lookout for a book that contains prompts and creative ideas, but not assumptions. Generally when looking for such books online, they don't show every page, so you can't determine from the online listing that there isn't anything on any page that assumes or excludes.

For what it's worth, I'd recommend that families don't buy or use the assumption-filled books even if their family situation does fit into the default, because it teaches kids and the people who publish these things that other types of families are invisible. It's the same as how straight people are perpetuating homophobia if they don't speak up and point out the assumption when it's assumed that their spouse is a different sex, or biological parents are perpetuating anti-adoption bias if they don't speak up when it's assumed their child is biological -- just because an assumption is correct doesn't mean it isn't hurtful to other people.

This book, from Nerdy Baby, is inclusive and interesting:

The book uses science terminology as a workaround to avoid using stereotypical language without using awkward I-spend-too-much-time-in-Cambridge-or-Berkeley language. Pretty cool. The rest of the stuff on the site is awesome and hilarious too -- I especially like the prime-number counting poster, available with two ladybugs, three kitties, 41 pieces of bacon, or in a vegan-friendly version without bacon.

Delores Handy word of the day

2011-04-26T18:05:00.001-04:00

"cumin rights"

Why the owners of ModernTribe are awesome

2011-04-21T08:15:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I e-mailed ModernTribe to point out that their description of this seder plate was a bit homophobic; it linked to the article on My Jewish Learning about how the orange on the seder plate was originated as a symbol of gay and lesbian inclusion in the community, yet the text said it symbolized the inclusion of women. I sensed some censorship and pandering to the mainstream here, so I e-mailed them (for what it's worth, they're hardly the first to misattribute/censor this tradition, but the article even explains this and gives the more accurate explanation).

Someone e-mailed me back right away and apologized and asked me to rewrite the description. They then changed it to what I had suggested almost immediately. I definitely recommend the company, though they (like most Jewish organizations) could of course still stand to include some specifically GLBT-focused and non-white-Jews-focused products.

It costs more to be gay

2011-04-19T13:45:00.000-04:00

A few months ago I said I was going to find this article for someone and post it. I don't remember who, or exactly why, but here it is. Along with a bunch of other things, because I got sidetracked while searching for it and got somewhat obsessed with posting things from the NYT.

Our goal was to create a hypothetical gay couple whose situation would be similar to a heterosexual couple’s. ... Here is what we came up with. In our worst case, the couple’s lifetime cost of being gay was $467,562. But the number fell to $41,196 in the best case for a couple with significantly better health insurance, plus lower taxes and other costs.

Poorer families not only speak less to their children, but also say different types of things

2011-04-19T13:41:00.000-04:00

I've seen the research many times that poorer/less-educated families use less language throughout the day than wealthier/more-educated families, but hadn't seen the claim in this article that it's different types of language. This seems accurate from my experience though, except I would suggest that the ideal is somewhere in between the two examples.

I definitely notice that on the whole, most of the language I hear from less-educated families is directive around the child's behavior, while the language the more-educated families use involves more questions and is more focused on concepts. The point of the article was of course how less-educated families can make some fairly straightforward changes that can narrow the achievement gap, but I also thought there were some implications that more-affluent families are doing things entirely right, which I don't experience as accurate.

While I have definitely worked with a lot of less-educated families where I feel as if the child is only spoken to if doing something wrong (and often in a vague "be nice" or "don't do that" sort of way that doesn't actually teach language or behavior), I also see more-educated families who don't seem to ever direct behavior. In some cases this seems to cause patterns that look a lot like AD/HD or PDD, where the child can talk at length about various subjects, but doesn't know what "sit down" means or that following directions is obligatory. It seems to me that some moderation here would be ideal, where adults are asking questions and talking to the child about their world, but are also saying "no" at appropriate times and giving directions and expecting them to be followed.

In terms of books, there seem to be developmentally appropriate and inappropriate tactics I see from all sorts of families that don't seem to be related to class or education. Some of the families I work with only read the book cover-to-cover without doing any pointing to pictures, labeling, asking questions, showing the child how to point, or even letting the child touch the book. Many insist on using the exact words/concepts printed in the book even if they're not developmentally appropriate for the child, like saying "cardinal" instead of "bird" because that's how the book has labeled the picture, or talking at length about how "things on this page are red" instead of labeling them for a child who doesn't yet have a lot of words and isn't anywhere near colors. Others seem too focused on being open-ended and exploratory and might be physically present and making interested sorts of faces and noises, but the child seems to only know how to flip rapid-fire through the pages, or scratch at one page, and the parent isn't guiding the child at all. Again, moderation seems to be the key.

An oyster on the seder plate?

2011-04-19T12:53:00.000-04:00

Cool idea, but I wonder why not just use seaweed?

Is this a sign that I'm dependent on my gadgets?

2011-04-10T14:09:00.000-04:00

I just went to the puter to look something up on google. The laptop was being spinnycursory and I hadn't restarted in about a week, so I restarted it. I apparently couldn't wait the couple of minutes for it to be back up and running, so I did my google search on the iPhone. Sometimes I worry me.

Delores Handy word of the day

2011-04-03T19:47:00.002-04:00

This is a little belated, but last week she kept talking about the "spring fun drive."

(For your contribution of just $50, we'll have AN ABSOLUTE BLAST UP IN HERE!)

And this is why I have awesome friends

2011-04-03T19:46:00.002-04:00

Transcript from a conversation between a couple I was hanging out with recently:

Member #1 of couple, to me: You seem to have found that joke funny for a really long time.

Member #2, to member #1: Whatever, you're worse.

Member #1: What?

Member #2: You said "compassionate conservative" every time you farted. For six months.

Member #1: Not every time. Sometimes I said "faith-based initiative."

The City of Boston hates me

2011-04-01T17:35:00.002-04:00

I parked at a meter to do some errands, ran into a business to break a dollar, and came outside to find a ticket and a BTD van roaring away. Van wasn't there when I went in. Yes, I understand that running in to get quarters is technically in violation of the law, but really, parking people swooping in on meters? They literally appeared, ticketed me, and left all within a minute. I honestly didn't think it was a real ticket at first until I saw the ass end of the van leaving. And their van was illegally parked and blocking traffic while they did this (I saw a white van out of the corner of my eye while getting quarters). Isn't this unconstitutional just like speed traps that are for the sole purpose of revenue rather than addressing a safety concern? Especially considering that you can't get them to come ticket/tow a car that's, say, across my driveway (because that wouldn't generate as much revenue per hour).

So then I went to the mayor's website to suggest that the transportation folks not do this, pointing out that I paid the meter for all but about the first 60 seconds of my time (and paid for more time than I need) and was using it for a short trip to patronize several local businesses in one strip, as the city is supposedly encouraging by having short-term meters. Only the mayor's website is down. FML

Lack of tummy time causes developmental problems

2011-03-27T14:52:00.000-04:00

See? Not putting kids on their tummies can cause lifelong problems, but there's still no evidence that germs that may or may not be on your floor cause anything other than development of the immune system, and no evidence that babies crying because they don't like tummy time causes anything other than increased frustration tolerance and practice on the parent's part of setting limits. Oh, plus you can spend all that money on more worthwhile things than several baby-restraining contraptions in each room.

I-statements, shmi-statements!

2011-03-23T11:40:00.000-04:00

Some pretty awesome advice I was given: "You'll be fine; just use your I-statements. Uh, and remember, 'I think that you should' is not an I-statement!"

What will they think of next?

2011-03-09T20:18:00.000-05:00

Gettin' all domestic up in here

2011-03-06T21:50:00.000-05:00

Corner of our living room before and after:

(Click through to see bigger photos and the demolition and construction process.)

Next step is repainting the living room. I'm thinking I'm going to make the ceiling Benjamin Moore Vintage Wine and the walls Benjamin Moore Wasabi.

Here's a picture of the two colors together, ganked from the Benjamin Moore site:

Imagine looking up at the Vintage Wine, with the Wasabi on the walls around you. Along with the brown furniture and white mouldings. I think it works.

Also going to do some wainscoting on the right-hand wall, probably something like this with a picture ledge on top.

I really want to put up crown moulding too, but it's expensive. I might see if the Boston Building Materials Resource Center has any.

Trader Joe's soy chorizo is delicious

2011-03-02T16:53:00.000-05:00

IKEA's automated assistant isn't very helpful

2011-02-22T23:39:00.001-05:00

First there was vaguebooking...

2011-02-14T20:02:00.000-05:00

(Which begs the question: Is it vaguebooking to post the definition and/or link for vaguebooking to one's facebook without any additional context? Because we all know that we only ever do that if it's in response to someone vaguebooking. Is it better to just reply with the link right to their vaguebooky status?)

Anyway, along those lines, I bring you

*drumroll*

Vagbooking: A passive-aggressive tactic involving vague or ambiguous facebook posts filled with flighty histrionic touchy-feely lingo that you can't possibly be feminist enough to understand, you insensitive prick who doesn't realize how extremely personally meaningful and/or offensive every single thing that happens is.

At the risk of sounding like I'm becoming a Republican or something

2011-02-09T08:38:00.000-05:00

This is from the Arc of Massachusetts' newsletter:

Day Habilitation programs, serving the many of the state's most vulnerable citizens are going through a very difficult fiscal period this year, due to two factors including:

losses due to multiple snow days that now exceed over $1.6 million, twice the amount sought by MassHealth to reduce spending in FY 11.
a proposed 3.7% to 4% rate cut in FY'11 (originally projected to be at $800,000) by MassHealth administrators overwhelmed by high enrollment in health care program due to recession

ADDP and The Arc of Massachusetts have surveyed day habilitation providers and have learned (85% of the provider community responding) that their programs will lose more this fiscal year from snow related losses, than the proposed rate cut. Together, these cuts will be drastic for day habilitation programs.

[...]

The letters to Governor Patrick and Secretary Bigby emphasized:
"Due to the never ending series of snow storms, and subsequent work cancellations, Day Habilitation programs are losing revenue that either matches or exceeds the targeted cut for FY'11. Your Administration has stressed that the proposed cut was initiated to reduce Medicaid expenditures for FY 11. If that is the case, then that goal has already been achieved due to the decline in Medicaid billing due to snow storm related closings. [red emphasis mine]

"Imposing an additional FY 11 cut, along with snow day cuts, is fiscally more difficult than the programs can bear. By withdrawing the FY 11 rate reduction for Day Habilitation programs, your Administration can help preserve the fiscal integrity of these programs which are fragile at best."

So, um, yeah. Clearly, I'm against the government cutting funding to day programs (OK, I think I lost my burgeoning Republican street cred there). But this is apples and, um, starfruit (minus another Republican point for mention of something that's not a good ol' 'Murican fruit). The funding because of the snow days was not "cut" or "lost"; it's still there. Did the day programs not plan their budget to account for a few snow days? Sure, we've had more than the usual amount this year, I realize. But, like, all nonprofits, they need to get creative. If they lost some days of billing, find a way to make up the days, just like people do in the hourly-billing world. I'm guessing that if they were to open on a weekend, they'd have plenty of takers -- particularly folks who live with family members who would love a day off with paid-for respite care. Most programs could arrange to have staff swap the day with a day they take off at a later date so they wouldn't have to pay any extra to staff the extra days. Some of the small programs might have to combine sites or something to make it worth firing up the building for the day, but it still seems doable.

As far as the regular funding, yes, I plan to write like I always do when there are proposed cuts and state that I feel day habilitation programs are important. I'm not going to use the pre-fabricated text about the "lost" Medicaid funding though, because I do think the programs have some responsibility to be creative and flexible and find a way to use the free money from the federal government that is still readily available to them. Small business owners and everyone else are finding ways to make do with what mother nature (minus another Republican point for that reference) gave us; these programs can do the same. Besides, we unfortunately live in a highly political country and era, which means we need to reach across the aisle and all that jazz in order to get support from both sides. The right-wing already thinks these programs don't deserve government funding, and they're wrong of course, but they're especially going to think that if programs aren't using funding that's available.

Damn you, congress

2011-02-02T19:37:00.000-05:00

Taxpayers will need to wait to file if they are within any of the following three categories: Taxpayers claiming itemized deductions on Schedule A. Itemized deductions include mortgage interest, charitable deductions, medical and dental expenses as well as state and local taxes.

Dammit, it's all done and ready to be e-filed. I want my money back, government! My yearly deposit of money that was mine in the first place is what I consider my tiny consolation that the federal government doesn't let me have rights, and now I can't even get it for a few weeks. Bastards.

Which is a better deal for professionals? W-2 employment or 1099?

2011-01-30T13:36:00.000-05:00

I was just reading the guidelines on the Attorney General's website around misclassification of employees as independent contractors, for reasons completely unrelated to my own employment. (Advisory is here, 42KB .pdf download.) This got me to thinking, for professionals who make a middle-class-ish living and can deduct a good chunk of our expenses on our Schedule C, is it better for us to get a W-2 or a 1099?

Many (most?) people doing clinical work, especially when seeing people at various program sites rather than in one clinic, are paid on a fee-for-service basis. Basically, we get a specific rate for each hour that is billable to insurance, usually a ridiculously small cut of what the insurance pays for the session. At many agencies, the revenue from the billable healthcare subsidizes other community programs the agency provides that aren't billable to insurance or eligible for any sort of other funding. Clinicians are usually viewed as independent contractors and receive a 1099, then file a Schedule C (small business profit/loss worksheet), which subtracts reasonable business expenses (mileage, licensure fees, continuing education, malpractice insurance, office supplies, therapy toys, books, etc.) from the amount paid on the 1099.

When looking over the guidelines, it seems to me that most clinicians would be considered "misclassified" by the AG's office, and should be W-2 employees instead of independent contractors. The guidelines use a "three-prong test," in which all three prongs must be satisfied in order for the employer to classify the worker as anything but "employee" (which means the person would receive a W-2). Prong two is "Service Outside the Usual Course of the Employer’s Business and the text explains that:

Some examples of how the Attorney General will apply prong two:
• A drywall company classifies an individual who is installing drywall as an independent contractor. This would be a violation of prong two because the individual installing the drywall is performing an essential part of the employer’s business.
• A company in the business of providing motor vehicle appraisals classifies an individual
appraiser as an independent contractor. This would be a violation of prong two because the appraiser is performing an essential part of the appraisal company’s business.
• An accounting firm hires an individual to move office furniture. Prong two is not applicable (although prongs one and three may be) because the moving of furniture is incidental and not necessary to the accounting firm’s business.

This seems pretty clear to me. Even at places I've worked for where counseling/music therapy is a small part of what the agency does, they still clearly provide these services in the normal course of their business. These aren't situations where I'm providing services to an agency's employees, or providing them for day program folks just once in a while in unusual circumstances. These are all places that have insurance billing contracts set up so that they can bill for healthcare services that their agency's contractors (employees?) are providing, and places that advertise clinical services as part of what they provide.

The other prongs are less clear, but again, only one violation is needed for there to be a misclassification. Just for discussion's sake, prong one ("Freedom from control") states that:

To be free from an employer’s direction and control, a worker’s activities and duties should actually be carried out with minimal instruction. For example, an independent contractor completes the job using his or her own approach with little direction and dictates the hours that he or she will work on the job.

This seems less clear. Everywhere I've worked allows folks to set their own schedule and requires us to write our own treatment plans and choose our own approach to the work. Yet the agencies often also have a lot of policies beyond the insurance regulations and ethical codes that we abide by regardless. I could see this one going either way. I have had one fee-for-service agency that more clearly violated this one by acting as if it was unacceptable pretty much to ever reschedule an appointment. Oh, and I suppose that with most any agency that does contract work, we often get into working environments where there's considerable and often clinically inappropriate direction from the agencies that are sub-sub-sub-sub-etc-contracting our work, like when we see people at day programs and group residences. Sometimes this even affects our ability to get paid, like when I show up at a program and a non-clinician staff member tells me someone isn't allowed to see me today for whatever reason.

Moving on to prong three, "Independent Trade, Occupation, Profession or Business," which states that:

Under the third prong, the court is to consider whether the service in question could be viewed as an independent trade or business because the worker is capable of performing the service to anyone wishing to avail themselves of the service or, conversely, whether the nature of the business compels the worker to depend on a single employer for the continuation of the services.

and further:

In this regard, we determine whether the worker is wearing the hat of the employee of the employing company, or is wearing the hat of his own independent enterprise.

Again, less clear. In terms of the "hat," I think I definitely work "for" and represent the agencies where I do work more so than the aforementioned hypothetical furniture mover at the accounting firm. My treatment plans and summaries have the names and logos of the agencies. Some of the programs where I see people know what agency I'm from with regards to their folks and others don't. Yet I also don't have a phone number or a desk or anything at any of the places where I do fee-for-service work.

In terms of being able to do the work on my own without the agencies, yes, technically I could. I can and do see people whose programs or family members pay me privately and I do some pro bono consulting and sometimes pro bono therapy. Without the agencies, could I make a living seeing folks with DDS/DMH services and could I bill Medicaid? It's technically possible to get onto these insurance panels as an individual provider, but they make it incredibly difficult.

Getting onto the real issue, I think it's pretty clear that any of us could petition these agencies to change clinicians from 1099 employees to W-2 employees, but what would be the benefits?

W-2 status would get us unemployment insurance. This is a good thing.

W-2 status probably still wouldn't get us health insurance, because even W-2 employers can claim the loophole that we aren't salaried and don't work a set number of hours per week, thus aren't benefit eligible even if the employer does provide benefits to some types of staff.

In most cases, 1099/Schedule C status benefits us from a tax perspective. On my Schedule C, I can deduct everything that is a legitimate business expense. W-2 folks can only use the "unreimbursed business expenses" category, which is more limited, and which is an itemized deduction, so it only lowers one's taxable income, not one's total income (line 22) or adjusted gross income (lines 37). And if someone doesn't have enough itemized deductions possible to exceed the standard deduction, they get no credit at all for all their out-of-pocket work expenses. Line 22 is the important one to reflect how much disposable income someone actually has, and is the line one has to use on financial aid forms and so forth.

At least in my case, staying with the 1099 seems the way to go. I have health insurance since I'm benefit-eligible at one of my employers, and I wouldn't be eligible for unemployment anyway if I were to lose one small contract and still have the rest of my work. The tax benefits are far better, at least in my situation. I wonder if there are situations in which W-2 employment would be preferable?

Racist toy at IKEA

2011-01-29T18:57:00.000-05:00

Now here's some judicial action that's ACTUALLY anti-family

2011-01-26T19:40:00.000-05:00

This mother was convicted of a felony for sending her kids to school in the district where their dad lives, rather than the district where she lives. The mother, who is studying to be a teacher, won't be able to teach because of the felony conviction. The father is charged with a felony of grand theft for defrauding the school system for two years of educational services for the girls.

In case it isn't obvious by the treatment they received, this is a low-income Black family. The mother lives in a housing project served by poor schools.

Aside from the ugly race and class discrimination here, this ruling is also bad news for families of any constellation other than legally married straight couples with biological children who all live in the home together. This wasn't a case of the family using the address of a random friend (in which case the district would have the right to tell them it didn't satisfy the residency requirements of the district, but which shouldn't warrant criminal charges). This family registered the children using the address of their own father. Unless the parents have opted to go to court for custody or child support reasons, the court has no business defining this family against their will. It isn't any of their business to get into where the children spend more time or who is supporting them more. Both homes are the children's homes. Like most families, they probably have good reasons they've made whatever arrangements they've made, like around finances or work schedules or health reasons, but again, none of that is anyone's business. If these children spent most of their time with a grandparent or a family friend, but without any legal arrangement, would the court say they couldn't use their mother's address either? This is why we need more legal protections for varying family structures, not laws or interpretation of laws that define families however it's convenient for the authorities.

So now this mother can't finish her degree and become a teacher, and both parents are facing stress and legal issues that will mess up their whole lives. All of this happened basically because they weren't married and living in the same home, or weren't the sort of people who draw up fancy legal documents stating that the children primarily live with their father.

Interesting show on Radio Boston yesterday about anti-recovery and ableist views

2011-01-20T10:53:00.000-05:00

On Radio Boston yesterday, they talked with Robert Whitaker, who has written a book claiming:

Whitaker says his research which examines for the first time the long-term effects of psychiatric drugs, shows that these medications are often making diseases such as depression and schizophrenia worse, not better. He points to a major increase in the number of people getting federal disability benefits for mental illness who are taking these medications as a sign that the drugs are, in fact, contributing to chronic mental illness in America.

I haven't read the book, and after the show I have to say I'm not terribly interested in reading it -- the viewpoint is interesting, but it's pretty clear that the methodology is quite flawed and the author clearly has an agenda.

I thought the show was pretty decently balanced. They had on a mainstream psychiatrist and took a lot more calls than usual. My guess is that about 75% of the callers talked about how medications had helped them and about 25% raised validly critical points about having been prescribed medications before trying anything else or having difficulties when they inquired about weaning off of meds.

What didn't really get discussed though (and I sent them a couple tweets, but they weren't aired) was that his measures of people doing "better" or "worse" are totally flawed. Whitaker kept discussing how more people being on SSI and/or more people taking medications means that mental illness is "worse."

The mainstream psychiatrist didn't get into much theoretical discussion, since he seemed too busy correcting all the basic misinformation was presenting, namely post hoc fallacies and citing a "study" that involved eight people without a randomly assigned control group. I would have really liked to hear someone point out the premises of the recovery model and shoot down his ableism though. Throughout the hour, he repeatedly pointed to statistics about the increases of people receiving SSI/SSDI for psychiatric disabilities as evidence that medications are causing psychiatric disabilities. He also seemed to use "taking medication" to mean that someone was "doing badly" and "not taking medication" to mean someone was "doing well." There was little to no discussion about symptoms or individual perception of quality of life.

My thinking is that, yes, there's gray area, and there are certainly people for whom medication is not the best treatment, and people who are receiving less-than-optimal treatment. Sure. But what really needs to be looked at is people's quality of life and daily functioning as measures of wellness. Before there was widespread use of SSI/SSDI for people with mental illness, people had to force themselves to make a living rather than deal with their illness. Based on what people who dealt with mental illness in the '60s-'80s have told me, they couldn't try different medications and different types of treatments because of risk of a setback that could jeopardize their job, so they were just steadily miserable and stressed. Or, in many cases, folks worked 9-5 jobs because they had to, but they lost jobs frequently and made an ass of themselves all day at these jobs because they just aren't someone who can handle a full-time job. Yet once it became more accessible and more common to receive SSI/SSDI for mental illness, all of that stress from losing one job after another has vanished and they're able to do productive and meaningful things at their own pace. For many folks, just knowing that they aren't going to lose their housing and income greatly increases their mental health.

Which is "better" mental health -- not being on SSI/SSDI, but burning bridges at a different job every month and feeling miserable and not having time or energy to deal with one's mental health, or having SSI/SSDI that guarantees a roof over one's head and food on the table so that one can pursue part-time self-employment or hobbies or enjoyment of friends and family?

You do not follow Dick.

2011-01-19T22:56:00.000-05:00

Nope, I sure don't!

Because I gotta post this at least once every winter...

2011-01-17T20:22:00.000-05:00

(From Mozz, a blogger and actor right here in Roslindale.)

Delores Handy word of the day

2011-01-17T14:42:00.001-05:00

"chuffist" (no idea as to what word was intended)

Delores Handy word-so-awesome-someone-who-isn't-me-wrote-about-it of the day

2011-01-12T09:18:00.002-05:00

From Deborah Henson-Conant's publicity E-Newsletter:

Sat. Jan. 15 - McPherson Kansas In two days I'll be wearing a snowsuit and ruby slippers. My snowsuit is for the weather that's about to blast the Boston area, and my ruby slippers because I'm headed to KANSAS for a show at the beautiful old McPherson Opera House.

(By the way, last night I could have sworn I heard a local WBUR newscaster say, "Brace yourselves for a GIANT OYSTER headed in this direction!" I was pretty excited until I realized she actually said "Nor-easter." Now I'm just hoping my plane will take off - though it's probably easier to clear snow off a runway than to clear up oyster slime. But enough about the weather...)

I'm really excited about playing at the old Opera House in McPherson, Kansas and not just because of the weather, but because ...

Someone found a use for all those unsolicited yellow phone books

2011-01-06T15:36:00.001-05:00

Spotted in an apartment building in Dorchester.

A proposal

2011-01-05T16:14:00.002-05:00

I propose we all start calling erections "bay-ners."

EDIT: I've made a facebook group.

Welcoming LGBT Families into our communities

2010-12-16T20:44:00.000-05:00

This article is specific to Jewish institutions, but I think it applies anywhere people work with families. Seemingly small things like language choices stand out to us, and language choices reveal to us whether you remembered that families like ours exist when you were making the form or the curriculum or speaking about your program.

To the recommendation about inclusiveness of family constellations, I would also add that it's important to make sure that language is inclusive of adoption, foster situations, living with a relative or with multiple extended family members. Oh, and also to remember that it's heterosexist to imply that it matters whether a couple (same-sex or different-sex) is legally married. When you ask about or point out that a long-term committed different-sex couple "isn't married," you're sending the message that it's somehow up to you to judge how valid their relationship is, and worse, you've just sent the message to LGBT families that their relationship doesn't even have a chance of being valid. Sure, of course talk about and celebrate the event of a wedding when they come up, but recognize that not everyone needs a ceremony, and that for 99% of people in your life, you don't actually know whether they're legally married because it doesn't affect you.

Delores Handy challenge

2010-12-14T09:32:00.001-05:00

It's currently snowing very lightly and intermittently. First person to spot Ms. Handy talking about flarries/floories/Ferraris will win something cool.

Of all the charities they could have chosen...

2010-12-08T21:05:00.000-05:00

This story on NPR yesterday talked about how charities are seeing fewer cash donations, so they're having to get with the times and switch to seeking donations via text, Facebook, etc. Cool story, but did they really need to provide a free plug for the notoriously homophobic organization with the annoying bell ringers? There are so many hard-working equal-opportunity charities out there they could have showcased instead.

Anti-Gay Hate Crimes: Doing the Math | Southern Poverty Law Center

2010-12-02T00:39:00.000-05:00

The bottom line: Homosexuals are far more likely than any other minority group in the United States to be victimized by violent hate crime.

Pumpkintini with alcoholic whipped cream!

2010-12-01T19:30:00.000-05:00

Delores Handy word of the day

2010-11-29T17:00:00.000-05:00

"Pawstin"

Cambridge Honda finally redeemed itself

2010-11-26T13:58:00.000-05:00

Look, they gave me a coupon for $25,000! And a key that doesn't start my car. Hmm.

Vegan pumpkin pie recipe and pumpkintini recipe

2010-11-25T12:08:00.001-05:00

While I'm talking about oppression ("Um, eeka, aren't you usually bitching about oppression?"), I thought I'd mention that Thanksgiving is one of the days in the United States on which the most animal products are purchased and consumed. Even if you're already vegetarian, vegan, or carnivore who consciously reduces some animal product use, you probably will still attend a celebration with people who aren't taking any steps to decrease abuse of animals and the resulting environmental destruction. I've not yet met a person who likes pumpkin pie and who didn't love my pumpkin pie recipe, so take it to your celebrations and spread the love. If you have friends and family members who aren't ready to abandon animal products entirely, one of the easier places they can eliminate animal products is in recipes where it makes no discernible difference in the result. The recipe is then cholesterol free, lower in fat, and usually cheaper.

(I don't seem to have a photo of the year I actually served the tinis in rimmed martini glasses, so here they are in boring glasses. Also here's the pie. And a Thanksgiving volcano, because, dude, volcano.)

Vegan pumpkin pie:

Graham cracker pie crust, purchased or made
One container (15-16 ounces) silken or regular tofu
One can (15-16 ounces) pumpkin puree, or equivalent cooked pumpkin
3/4 vegan sugar (can also use maple syrup or other favorite sweetener, plus a little flour)
Pumpkin pie seasoning to taste
A few teaspoons of flour

Blend tofu in blender until smooth. Silken will usually blend right into a liquid; regular might need some soymilk added to avoid burning out the blender motor. Add pumpkin and blend until uniform. Add sugar and pumpkin pie spice. Add a little flour, using more if the mixture is still too much like a thin liquid rather than a batter. Pour into pie shells. With the pie shells I buy, there's usually leftover batter, which I save for pumpkintinis. I usually bake at 400° for about 20 minutes, then turn down to about 325° for another 20 or so. Cook until firm and knife comes out clean.

Pumpkintinis:

Leftover pie filling
Silk™ soy creamer
Vanilla vodka
(Use seltzer, lime, extra creamer instead of vodka for nondrinkers in the crowd)

Shake about two parts pie filling, one part creamer, one part vodka. Serve chilled. One time I rimmed the glasses with graham cracker crumbs, which looked cool and gave a pretty snazzy effect, but the crumbs eventually wound up in the drink and made gross playdoh-tasting glop, so I don't recommend doing this. Use cinnamon sugar instead. If you aren't also making pies, you can just blend up pumpkin puree, sugar, spices, and use more soy creamer. You don't need the blended tofu or the flour if you don't need your mixture to be able to bake up into a solid. For nonalcoholic tinis, use seltzer, lime, extra creamer. I recommend serving these on the small side since they're really rich.

Also, since people have asked about this lately, I'm reposting (er, linking to) my guide for including vegetarians in Thanksgiving celebrations.

Here's a roundup of radio stations playing Alice's Restaurant. Also, what's this holiday really about for you?

2010-11-25T11:47:00.001-05:00

Click here or here for stations that have been known to play it in the past.

As far as confirmed airings for this year, WZLX (100.7) will be playing it at 9, noon, and 4, per usual.

WUMB (91.9) will be playing it at noon. They've previously played the anniversary edition as well as the regular one, so it'll be a surprise.

EDIT: They're playing the anniversary edition!

Also, Alice's Restaurant is a good reminder that any time we bring up one-sided historical references (such as celebrating Thanksgiving), we should also be conscious of mentioning at the very least that there are two sides. Tell your kids and friends and families that some folks observe a Day of Mourning today. If you celebrate Thanksgiving in a mainstream sorta way, make sure you make it clear that you personally aren't cooking and gathering with loved ones today in order to celebrate the taking of land and the ensuing genocide (Um, and if this is what you're celebrating, kindly get offa my blog. Or stay here, keep reading, and learn something).

Too often, we stand by idly because we "know" that our friends and families and loved ones are all on the side of justice and fairness. They probably are, but even so, every time we make stupid pilgrim hats without explicitly mentioning the whole story, we're allowing only one side of the story to be heard, and I think the subtler forms of silencing are the most damaging. And while I'm on my vegan-fair-trade-organic soap box, might I suggest that there are really tactful, middle-ground ways to remember and acknowledge. Do your family and friends go around the table and say what they're thankful for? Or say some sort of grace or blessing? Then attend their celebration, enjoy yourself and your loved ones, and toss in a line about how on this day you're also remembering the genocide and the continued struggle against racism and other oppression.

Delores Handy word of the day

2010-11-17T21:42:00.001-05:00

"Armbicore of Engineers"

People, Freecycle isn't a concierge service!

2010-11-17T16:26:00.001-05:00

I offered a futon on Freecycle, just the futon, and now I have all these people asking if I would please please give them the nonexistent frame too, if I could tell them where to get a frame so they can decide whether they want it, and if I can take pics alongside a measuring tape.

Really? It's free. If you take it and it doesn't work, Freecycle it again.

Four four four four loko!

2010-11-17T09:42:00.000-05:00

I'm watching in amusement as attempts are made to ban Four Loko, because some dumbasses get wasted on it and do stupid things that they could just as easily do with rum and cokes.

Over on Universal Hub, Kaz suggested that someone needs to make a Warhol out of Four Loko. Not being one to resist a Photoshop urge, this intrigued me. Sure, I could have duotoned up some cans in da shop and changed each one to a different pair of pop-art colors using the levels feature, but that would be too much like work. So first I googled "Warhol maker." There are a few, but they require downloading and installing things, and again, the work factor.

So I tried a really low-tech option and got some surprisingly fun results.

Photobooth, in all its glory, has a filter that makes Warhol-type images ("pop art,") but of course can only be applied in real-time to things shot with the built-in camera, because that's the point of Photobooth. So what I did was to search for images of Four Loko on the iPhone, hold the iPhone up to the MacBook, and shoot it that way.

Just the can, man

Some crazy dude I found

This one involved a quick 'shopping

I think we've found a new pizza place

2010-11-15T19:37:00.000-05:00

So, we quickly rebounded from having broken up with our old pizza place, and I think we have a new one.

We've now ordered from Pizza Pie-er twice, and we've been more or less happy. Food is wonderful. Great variety, tends to be fresh and healthyish for pizza, seasoned and cooked well. The pies are a bit overpriced, especially if you create your own, but they make up for it by having really cheap side orders.

Their customer service kind of sucks though. The first time, I ordered through Foodler at 8:20 and it said it would be here around 9:00. (The restaurants provide Foodler with the estimate of how long they take to fill orders). At 9:20 it wasn't here, so I called to check. The person who answered the phone was really flat, not the least bit apologetic, and said, "yeah, it's Friday night; orders take about an hour and a half, so what Foodler told you is wrong." I explained to him that the restaurant provides the timeframes, so they might want to adjust accordingly. He grudgingly gave me a credit on my next order, but wouldn't credit the current one. It finally showed up at 9:50, at which point the driver handed our pizza, then asked us if our neighborhood "is safe." Classy.

Also, I can't order from them directly on their website. It says they don't deliver to my address, even though they obviously do.

What's really wrong with pop culture

2010-11-15T08:15:00.002-05:00

I can't believe I didn't come across this until today, but I'm positively in love with it.

This is where I'm going to point people now when I try to explain the reasons why at times I don't mind getting into and appreciating aspects of professional sports and mass media, but I nonetheless find the whole institutions around them really sad. Almost all of the money that goes into producing videos and putting on football games comes from the public, and is given freely by average working individuals. Imagine what we could do if we scaled back art and sports to their basic forms and people instead gave all this money to things that really matter.

Her son is gay. Or not.

2010-11-04T15:44:00.000-04:00

This is really inspiring, and also discouraging. It's pretty shocking to me really that people (other than the crazy far right-wingers who are afraid of everything making them/their kids/their spouses/random strangers gay) would have any sort of feelings about a Halloween costume that expresses a different gender than the person's usual identity. Um, it's a day when you dress up as someone different from yourself. It wouldn't have occurred to me that there were limits to this.

Besides, there are some much more disturbing and offensive Halloween costumes to worry about.

Delores Handy word of the day

2010-10-27T17:01:00.001-04:00

"Jibboston"

Really, NPR?

2010-10-26T18:04:00.001-04:00

A warning that a biographical piece about someone discovering she's transgender and going through transition might upset some people?

They don't run such warnings when talking about actually offensive things like crimes, wars, bullying in schools, etc. If people are upset that there are transgender people, that's too fucking bad.

Photo of a bathroom wall at Boston Medical Center

2010-10-25T10:51:00.000-04:00

Delores Handy word of the day

2010-10-20T16:20:00.000-04:00

"WARE-im"

People, this isn't the romper room

2010-10-20T10:22:00.001-04:00

I like Panera and Starbucks for doing paperwork, but I think they could get even more business if they had a quieter section (at least at the larger locations). I've actually been to a few Starbuckses and a few Panerae where one section had more studying-looking desks and library-type lighting and the other had restaurant-type lighting and seating, but there wasn't a sign, and people don't pick up on social cues, so there were still a good number of people hooting and hollering in the section that was mostly people quietly working. It would be so awesome if there was a section with a sign indicating that it was a quiet area. I mean, they have free wi-fi and stuff; I assume they want to drum up the business of paperwork-doing people, and this would be a way to do it.

Or maybe I just need some of them giant headphones.

They'll make great pets

2010-10-19T12:47:00.003-04:00

Urge the Senate to Pass the Captive Primate Safety Act!

Target: U.S. Senate
Sponsored by: ASPCA

If passed, the Captive Primate Safety Act would prevent people from buying and selling nonhuman primates as household pets. The Captive Primate Safety Act passed the House of Representatives, but has stalled in the Senate.

Buying and selling humans as pets, however, will still be permitted.

All kinds of awesome

2010-10-19T09:28:00.003-04:00

Did the silver line give up trying to pretend it's not a bus?

2010-10-18T13:55:00.000-04:00

Homophobia on Apartment Therapy

2010-10-11T14:43:00.000-04:00

There's a baker-blogger who often gets linked to on Apartment Therapy. I'm not going to mention any specific names or keywords so as not to inadvertently help her google ranking or anything, but this person bakes semi-professionally and makes some cute stuff. The baking site is also a subdomain of a conservative Christian "mommy blog" by the same author.

At one point early this year, Apartment Therapy featured a blog post about something this person had cooked. I clicked through shortly after it was posted. I did notice that it was part of a conservative Christian blog, but the post itself was fine and was cute, so no big deal. A few days later when I went to show it to someone, I noticed that the poster had changed the linked post on her blog so that Apartment Therapy was now linking to a post promoting homophobia. The blogger in question writes in a professional and organized manner, so it isn't like the post now screams "hate speech" in the way that a certain church in Kansas does, and it does still mention the cooking project, but the content of the post is now clearly about promoting homophobia with the cooking project loosely tied in.

I wrote to Apartment Therapy to mention this, and never received a reply. Their site still links to the now-altered post.

Last week, Apartment Therapy posted something else by this blogger. She has slightly rebranded herself, and her names aren't that distinct anyway, so I didn't recognize it. I clicked through and was immediately aggravated, since it was 1) this same blogger, and 2) the post about a cake was full of links to her other personal blog, full of homophobia and other right-wing rhetoric. (Not sure whether the post originally contained all these blatant links; I couldn't find an earlier version.) I mentioned this in the comments. Various people replied, some stating that this was hijacking etc. (which, I suppose it technically is, but really, I don't feel bad about starting civil off-topic-to-some-people discourse in response to attacks on my family's human rights), and others agreeing that this blogger's post-changing behavior and political commentary are offensive. The original blogger also replied, stating that the baking blog and the political blog are totally separate websites (bullshit).

I also e-mailed Apartment Therapy again, telling them that I like the site and view it as something that is safe and respectful for my family to view, explaining again which specific post the blogger has changed to be a blatant endorsement of homophobia with Apartment Therapy linking directly to it. No reply, of course, but they did take the comments down and disable comments on the cake post while leaving the cake post up and linked to this right-wing website. Seriously?!

In case anyone's curious, here's the cached version of the post.

If this blogger didn't appear to make substantial money off of blog ads, I'd suggest we all go over there and leave polite-but-really-queer comments on her site. "Hi, I love this cake! I made it for National Coming Out Day!" "Ooh, these cupcakes would be so cute to take over to my Daddy and Papa's house for their anniversary!" I don't think we (or Apartment Therapy) should give her the traffic though.

Put your mfing hands up and follow me

2010-10-09T23:01:00.001-04:00

Awesome license plate spotted on Columbus Ave this evening. Not quite
cool enough for 8 mile? Try 7 mile! And I love that it's a Michigan
plate.

(And before anyone says anything, my passenger snapped the picture
while I was driving. However, based on the text of our lovely new law,
it seems that it's fine to use an SLR film camera while driving, but
not one that's part of an electronic device.)

Stroke PSA now available in Khmer!

2010-10-09T22:57:00.001-04:00

I still wonder why restrooms need to be gendered at all, but...

2010-10-04T17:09:00.001-04:00

Some of the weirdest, most sexist, most confusing bathroom signs you'll ever see.

Delores Handy word of the day

2010-09-27T21:12:00.001-04:00

"and puonting the gun at a police officer"

Yet another rich person with lots of free time pretends to live on the food stamp allowance

2010-09-24T17:08:00.000-04:00

This time from the Chicago Tribune.

Ignore the Tribune comments; most of them are either about how people using food stamps should just do what the person in the article did, or about how there's no way people using food stamps would do such a thing because they're inferior people.

The commenters on this article where it reappeared on Apartment Therapy are all unaware that farmers markets take WIC in 45 states and food stamps in many communities. Really, do these people not know any poor people? Or not read local news? Or not involve themselves in community issues?

Some of the AT comments were decent. People pointed out that people using food stamps don't usually have this kind of time, might not have this level of cooking skill, probably don't have this elaborate of kitchen setup.

But like previous attempts at shopping on a food stamp budget, the basic premise of this was decent, in that lifestyle bloggers at least acknowledged for once that most people don't have the kind of money to do most of the stuff they write about. Still, rather than having someone do an experiment they don't need to do, why didn't the authors offer to do this along with someone who is a benefits recipient and see how it would really work in a situation where someone doesn't have a lot of time to cook, is hounded by not-very-educated grandparents who insist that you better be buyin that baby REAL pampers and she ain't havin none of that unsanitary cloth business, and you better be feeding that baby REAL gerber and none of that made-it-yourself-in-the-blender nonsense.

For a lot of people living in a cycle of poverty, it's a real pride thing that their children will not be wearing any clothes or using any toys that aren't new, and they certainly won't be eating anything that isn't brand-name. Things that seem artsy or whatever to middle-class people, like homemade pizza and bulk foods and whatnot (and that might be healthier...) seem like cheap halfass DIY alternatives to a lot of people who are focused on making sure their kids have what they view as the best. People fail to realize that within the lower income brackets, you still have different classes of people based on education, resources, connectedness to people of other classes, etc. Even if I lose everything and am living in a shelter with no assets, I'm still not going to be of the lowest socioeconomic group given my education and other factors, so I can't go around writing a blog post about how I would go to thrift stores and eat bulk rice and beans, therefore so should they (whoever "they" are).

There's also the factor of being of the demographic that you can get your kids taken away in an instant -- there's no way you're going to risk having anyone hear that you're not feeding your kids meat and dairy at every meal or that you aren't feeding the baby proper baby food, including those ridiculous overpriced and overmarketed baby junkfood "puffs," or that every inch of your house isn't babyproofed with store-bought products (marked up at Babies R Us, not straight from the hardware store -- I've been told that Babies R Us knows how to only sell safe things and the other stores don't because they aren't the real Babies R Us).

The people who investigate complaints of abuse and neglect are not generally clinicians with formal training in family development or nutrition. They often haven't attended any college and have only received on-the-job training. I've seen kids get taken away because the family feeds them beans and rice and they have hand-me-down clothes and people share a bed. Which looks a lot like my family and many of my friends, except that I'm more educated than a lot of my clients, I'm perceived as white, my apartment has books and art instead of TV and video games, and we look pretty middle-class unless you look at our income. The social services folks aren't going to think our beans and rice and minimal material possessions constitute living in squalor, but they do think it's neglectful coming from a less articulate/educated/white family.

It's easier for people in the middle class to eschew American marketing for simpler alternatives. Much harder to do so in the lower classes. I'm not sure what the solution is.

AK's Takeout and Delivery on Tremont St in Roxbury has just lost any future business from me

2010-09-19T22:25:00.001-04:00

For the past four years or so, AK's has been our standby place to order pizza from. I'm never ordering anything from them again though.

Tonight, I placed an order from AK's through Foodler. It went through at 7:32 p.m. At 8:24, I called AK's to see where it was, and I got no answer. At 8:27, called again, no answer. Looked in my bank account and noticed I'd been charged for the order.

At 8:34, after we'd decided to head down there and get it ourselves, someone called me from there, saying the power had gone out but was back on. They said they'd make it right then and it would be here in 30 minutes. I figured I'd get some good free stuff out of the deal, so I said this would be fine.

At 9:15, someone called from AK's and said it would be another 15 minutes. I reluctantly said this was OK.

At 10:04, it wasn't here, so I called AK's. No answer. I called back the cell phone number from which someone had called at 9:15. She was on her way home and said the power went back out and someone was supposed to have called me. I told her no one had. She said to call tomorrow at 11 a.m. and someone would send it for free. I told her I'd be at work at 11 a.m. tomorrow, and I didn't want it tomorrow, which was why I had ordered it an hour and a half ago. She finally agreed to have the manager call me.

At 10:11, no manager had called. I called back the first cell phone number, did get someone who sounded like the manager. I said I was trying to reach AK's. He said "AK's is closed." I told him I'd placed an order at 7:32 and it wasn't there, and someone had called at 9:15 and said it would be 15 minutes. He told me that they were closed because the power went out. He didn't apologize at all that I'd been told 15 minutes and wasn't called back when the power went back out. He finally agreed that he'd credit my card back within two days. I asked about the other AK's location, and he told me, "we have another one, but it's not in Boston -- it's in Southie." I decided to forgo the geography lesson and asked why they hadn't delivered it from the other location then, or, you know, called. Or brought me pizza from somewhere else. Or refunded my money yet. He said he couldn't help me and to let them know if my card wasn't credited within two days. He said he'd have the owner call me right away as well.

I'm also going to send this to Foodler to see if they'll drop AK's from their restaurants. I understand that stuff happens, and it's just a pizza, but really, they could have called to let me know it wasn't coming, and really, they can't have their other location 15 minutes away bring me my order? Also, they weren't the least bit apologetic. Now I'm pissed off and I'm hungry, and I could have ordered from somewhere else hours ago. This does not make me happy.

ETA: The owner called me at about 10:45. He said "it wasn't our fault; the power was out" and kept rationalizing why they hadn't called me, refunded me, gotten me pizza from somewhere else. He also told me he'd be happy to have the pizza show up tomorrow.

Foodler called me about five minutes later -- 10 minutes after I sent my e-mail. He said Foodler would credit my card right away and would let their management team know that AK's had been unresponsive and hadn't handled this well. See, because Foodler is a decent business.

A little faith in humanity is restored

2010-09-15T10:57:00.001-04:00

Several people on our street have collaborated to put together a little fund to help out some hard-working neighbors who suffered substantial property loss due to arson -- not in any way related to the other event I just posted about, other than philosophically. We have a nice gift ready to take over to them. This reminds me that there are a lot of good people in the world, and I'm lucky to have several of them as neighbors. It takes away a little bit of the sting of how thoughtless some very troubled people can be.

Thanks, neighbors!

I really should know better than to read comments on The Herald's website, but really...

2010-09-15T10:45:00.001-04:00

A person in my circle was recently killed by a violent act that wasn't intended for said person. I was googling to see what was taking place in terms of charging the perpetrators and whatnot. At the bottom of an article in The Herald, I found almost entirely comments about how someone who is a parent should not have been out in the evening, comments suggesting that this person's children had been left alone while this parent was not at home, comments full of assumptions that said person had been involved in an altercation, how the victim should have known better than to have been in that neighborhood, how it's one less person on welfare, how it wouldn't have happened if the victim spoke English.

All of this presumably because this person is not white.

To make sure I wasn't unfairly pulling the race card, I looked at similar stories in newspapers that are aimed toward this person's ethnic group. It was as I suspected though; the comments were entirely of the sort of appropriate comments that one makes when one hears of such a tragedy -- prayers for the family, sadness about how senseless it is, etc.

Really, maybe I'm sheltered, but I'm just shocked that there are several dozen people who would say things like this and think that it's OK to say these things. And especially that there's not one critical thinker in the bunch, not even one person whose views might be quite different from mine, but who has the sense to point out that people are making all kinds of assumptions that weren't reported in the news stories. Is there not even one right-winger among the bunch who would correct the facts even just for the sake of enjoying proving others wrong? Other stories about the incident have mentioned what kind of work this person did, mentioned an educational background that would require speaking English, and explained that this person was just enjoying time with family and was not any part of any altercation.

And really, whose business is it if this person had been on welfare? Or didn't speak English? Sure, this is especially affecting me since I knew this person and know that this is a very clear-cut case of a hard-working peace-loving person who did absolutely nothing wrong, but that's immaterial; where do people get off making these comments about anyone? Do these people not have families and loved ones? How can they possibly think that children who are on welfare with non-English-speaking parents deserve to lose a parent? And really, have none of these people ever left their children with a babysitter and gone and enjoyed an adults-only night out? I really hope that doing so once in a while doesn't make someone a bad parent.

I guess it bothers me too that The Herald leaves these kinds of comments up and doesn't have an editorial person respond to them. If they had any interest in being a journalistic organization of any integrity, I'd think they'd at least want to correct basic facts. Personally, I'd also think that any business or any person or group of people would be ashamed to have any part in a giant racism fest, but I guess I should know better.

May your memory be a blessing, dear one. And may the Herald commenters find healing.

Do not taunt happy fun mayor's office

2010-09-13T21:18:00.000-04:00

The mayor's hotline website says to use the phone number rather than the website if one wants to complain anonymously. I called to tell them my recycling didn't get picked up, told him the address, and the dude said I'd have to leave my name, address, and phone number. I told him I'd rather not, and he said they needed that info to open the ticket. I said I'd call sanitation in the morning and thanked him and hung up.

About two milliseconds later, this e-mail showed up:

Dear Constituent, 
 
Thank you for contacting the Mayor's Hotline about a missed trash or recycling collection. Your service request, opened on 9/13/10 at 9:07 PM, is case number 101000179683. 
 
Our Public Works Department collects most missed trash or recycling within two business days. In the event the materials are unacceptable for collection you will receive an email stating the reason why materials were not collected.
 
If you have any questions about the case, please contact the Mayor's Hotline at (617) 635-4500. We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week to answer any questions or handle any City service issues you may have.
 
You can also track the status of your request online by going to the following site: http://www.cityofboston.gov/mayor/24. Just enter the case number and the email you used to submit this request. 
 
Sincerely, 
 
Mayor's Hotline Staff

Um? Sure, I know they have my e-mail address because I pay my property taxes through the website, but what are they doing cross-referencing it and e-mailing me about the complaint they wouldn't actually allow me to make? Also, it's a three-family house, and I didn't tell them which unit I was. What if they had had someone else's e-mail in my building? I don't want them e-mailing my neighbors about calls I make. I don't even want them e-mailing me when I haven't given them permission to do so. WTF, mayor's office?

Pipe dreams

2010-09-11T21:59:00.002-04:00

Some poking around on the internet has given me this major urge to buy this:

and build this on it:

Dude, $22,500 for the building materials (less if I used recycled -- wassup, Boston Building Materials Resource Center!), and $60,000 asking price for the land, which I could probably get for less considering how long it's been on the market and how many times they've reduced the price. It would cost like nothing to heat or light the house, and I could grow a lot more produce on that huge lot.

You know, with all my spare time and money.

As always, One Smoot wishes everyone a...

2010-09-07T23:19:00.000-04:00

Inscribe us in the book, damn you!

2010-09-06T23:03:00.000-04:00

From the Wikipedia article on "Avinu Malkeinu" (I was looking in there because I knew there was something that changed if Yom Kippur is on Shabbat, but couldn't remember what):

"In the interests of gender neutrality, the UK Liberal Jewish prayer-book for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (Machzor Ruach Chadashah) translates the epithet as "Our Creator, Our Sovereign". It also contains a contemporary prayer based on Avinu Malkeinu in which the feminine noun Shekhinah is featured."

Epithet? And here I thought we were saying it in praise and in reverence as we made our appeals!

(Yes, I know that that word doesn't always refer to a defamatory phrase, but I nonetheless found it funny.)

Jesus H. Christ, Express Scripts

2010-09-03T20:18:00.000-04:00

I wrote before about how I can't figure out how to pay the goddamned bill on the Express Scripts website. Since then, I've reluctantly added in a credit card that they're free to charge recurringly. They've yet to charge said card, and they've now sent me a letter saying they've been unsuccessful in securing funds from me, thus I've been banned from filling further prescriptions.

They might be more successful in securing funds from me if they
1) had a way to make a goddamned payment on their motherloving website
or
2) would charge the credit card that I've entered and authorized them to charge specifically for the very purpose of securing funds from me.

I called the phone number, and spoke to a very nice person named Shawna. She said she'd be happy to charge my balance to the credit card I have on file. I said I'd be willing to do this in a moment, but before we did that, would she be able to tell me how to make a payment online and/or why they haven't charged the card? She poked around and figured out that I don't have access to online payments, because my employer has chosen as a security feature not to permit online payments. Um? Because it's more secure to have my card sitting there doing nothing? Or to allow any old two-bit moron who can figure out the Express Scripts phone number and my birthdate to call and make charges to my account? See, this is where "security" is kind of a moot point, because, really, I'm not too worried about roving bandits charging my own prescription debts to my own credit card. They can do it online, on the phone, in person -- I don't care. Come to think of it, it would be a lot less hassle if they would, so I wouldn't have to waste my time entering my information online and then sitting on hold to call and tell them to go ahead and take my prescription copay. Anyone know where I can find some bandits? Or drifters? Maybe rogues? Hobos?

I then asked her why every single prescription and letter I get from them is covered in giant blue "pay your bill online at expressscripts.com" logos. She wasn't sure, but did offer to pass along the suggestion that they not send that to people for whom that isn't actually possible. She then said my account was all settled and gave me a very long confirmation number.

So, apparently the procedure for getting drugs is actually:
1) mail prescription to some P. O. box
2) wait for drugs to show up
3) get bill for drugs that says you can pay it online except you can't
4) enter credit card online
5) call number and wait on hold to tell them to charge credit card

How is this "benefit" more convenient than going to CVS and paying the damn copay and getting the drugs within a few minutes?

I had lots of fun with the Hipstamatic while in P-town the past few days

2010-08-31T18:41:00.000-04:00

Just like everyone says will happen, the Hipstamatic has become quite addictive. About the most fun you can have legally for $1.99.

Some of the highlights:

Hey ladies, want a raise? Wash your vagina!

2010-08-31T18:26:00.000-04:00

From AlterNet, an ad-pretending-to-be-an-article that ran in Women's Day recently, giving women handy pointers about making sure to have a freshly washed vagina before asking for a raise. I wish I were making this up.

Calling the mayor's hotline results in more trouble for constituents, not less

2010-08-25T10:50:00.001-04:00

Me: Hi, Columbia Road just south of Quincy Street has about a foot of
standing water and cars are getting stuck, in case you're not aware yet.

Phone person: What part of the city is that?

My brain: Um, and you work for the City of Boston?

Me: Dorchester

Person: OK, what's your name and telephone number?

Me: No thanks; I'm not there anymore and don't need anything further.
Just letting you know.

Person: We need your name and number in case we need to contact you
about the issue.

Me: No, I don't need to be contacted. Thanks.

Person: Ma'am...

Me: Thanks for your time, bye.

Apparently if I want to be helpful to my fellow residents, I need to
permit the city to bug me about something that no longer has anything
to do with me.

Judge rules that graduate school has the right to refuse to give counseling degree to actively homophobic student

2010-08-24T23:02:00.000-04:00

This makes me really really happy.

When I was in graduate school, I had a number of homophobic classmates and a really homophobic instructor. I got nowhere when I tried to address any of this, saying that people's religion and political views were no business of the program's. I've also had similar workplace experiences, where I've showed administrators the codes of ethics that say we have to affirm and respect all people, and they've told me that, yes, ideally we are, but the agency isn't allowed to make an employee violate his/her religious or political beliefs. I am extremely happy that it's finally gone to court and a judge has ruled on this matter specifically. It seems obvious to me anyway that one's religious or personal or whatever beliefs can't be cited as a reason for refusing to do one's job. It's great that a university was so upfront in making it completely clear that this person needed to heal from homophobia in order to be allowed to have a counseling degree.

Also, I really hate that the GLBT community so often gets bundled in with "politics" or "religion" while other cultural groups don't. A large human services agency where I've worked marches in a couple of local ethnic-group parades and a couple of (very political, actually) disability rights events as an official company event with the company banner. But when I asked if we could march in Boston Pride, they said that we aren't allowed to participate in political events, being a nonprofit. Total bullshit, of course, since the regulation is that nonprofits can't have a substantial part of their time and money put toward partisan politics. And clearly the people who said this crap know nothing about the pride parade, since it's full of not only nonprofits, but also things like huge greedy corporations. Really sad that several major banks are showing more commitment to the GLBT community than a human services agency whose sole function is to affirm and support people in the community.

On a related note, I've often thought that we need to sort through "politics" and not allow so many things to be lumped under this sort of untouchable umbrella. As long as it's part of "politics," it's taboo for an ethics board or an employer to say anything to an employee who is advocating for unequal treatment of GLBT people, immigrants, people with disabilities, people with lower incomes, etc. Why is it acceptable to fire or fine a helping professional who says at the company lunch table "I really think queer people are inferior to me and should not have the quality of life that I have?," but it would be a huge legal nightmare to discipline someone for saying they had voted in this same way or had written this same thing to one's congressperson? They're expressions of the exact same beliefs, and these beliefs are not compatible with working in the helping professions.